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We’re done co-sleeping…sort of. Charlie still nurses to sleep and wakes up at least once during the night to nurse so I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to lift her up out of her crib, nurse her, and try to get her down without waking her up. Technically, she’s been sleeping in her crib but we took off one side and attached it to our bed so I’d just roll over, nurse her and we’d both go back to sleep. Recently, though, I just haven’t been sleeping well with her next to me. She moves a lot in her sleep and I thought I was done getting kicked in the ribs when I gave birth to her. I do find it adorable when she clings onto me like a koala but not night after night. 

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I was inspired by Montessori style bedrooms where the entire room is baby-friendly. We bought a thin mattress from Ikea and put in on the floor of her room so she can easily get in and out of bed. I put toys and books where she can easily access them and I hung pictures at her eye level to interest her. I plan on only keeping a few toys and books in her room at a time and switching them out every once in awhile. I’ll do the same with the pictures hanging on the wall. 

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Our top floor is two bedrooms with one tiny hallway that separates them. When we leave the doors open, it feels like we’re in one big room. In a way, I still feel like we’re co-sleeping. I can go to her quickly in the night and once she starts walking regularly, she can easily get to us. If she wakes up hungry, I can lay down next her  to nurse and easily get back up to go back to bed. I thought I would miss the baby snuggles but we get plenty of time to snuggle before bed and when she wakes up in the morning. If she wakes up at 5am or later, I take her back to bed with me so we can enjoy our last couple of hours of sleep together. 

The best part is that she really likes her room. I was worried that she would feel abandoned suddenly sleeping by herself after spending every night of her life with us but she seems just fine with it. Last night, Conor went to check on her around 4am and she was just sitting up and happily talking to herself. And during the day, she’ll point to go upstairs and lead me to her room, instead of ours. I love that she always goes straight for the books hanging on the wall. 

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Check out the bedhead on this well-rested girl. I take it back, the best part is that she’s waking up less. She’s only been in there for a week but most nights she’s only gotten up twice, a huge improvement from every hour or two. I guess she likes having her own space.

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Charlie’s first steps! Of course, she hasn’t walked since. But at least we know she can do it, she’s just gotta work on her confidence. 

PS. Sorry for the shaky cam! 

PPS. All that sniffling you hear is from me. I may have cried a little. 

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Happy Birthday, Charlie! 

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I’m stuck somewhere between “I can’t believe a year went by so fast” and “What? She’s only been in my life for a year?”. This past week has been very emotional for me. I find myself staring at her and trying to remember the tiny 6lb 3oz baby the doctor laid on my chest a year ago. I’m just so amazed at the person she’s become. 

I’m watching Charlie transform from a baby to a toddler and I can’t believe what I’m seeing half the time. Of course, in the back of my mind I’ve always known that she wasn’t going to be this tiny baby forever but watching her as she pulls herself up and cruises around, it hits me that she’s going to be a person who can walk and talk, just like the rest of us.

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Every night, before she falls asleep, we hang out in bed. Usually, we read books during this time but lately, all she wants to do is roll around and pull herself up using the side of the crib. Seriously, she can do this for an entire hour. She still doesn’t crawl so what she does is rolls over and pushes herself up to a seated position but if she can’t reach the crib railing, she lays back down and rolls over until she’s close enough to the railing to pull up and sits up again. I can tell it’s a lot of work for her but she never whines or asks for our help, this is something she’s trying to accomplish on her own.  

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I think this a big part of who she is. She loves taking things apart and trying to put them back together. She just likes to figure things out. I think she’s going to be the type of kid who keeps asking, “why?” until she’s satisfied with the answer. 

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Something I miss about having a tiny baby is the way she would just lay on my chest for hours but now, even though these moments are fewer, they’re more rewarding. When she snuggles and leans in close, I know it’s because she wants to. 

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Before having Charlie, I was really excited at the idea of having a baby. I mean, babies are tiny and smooshy and just freakin’ cute. The idea of having a toddler, on the other hand, was kind of scary. Toddlers throw tantrums, they’re loud and always seem to have sticky hands. Yeah, Charlie can be loud. As I’m typing this, I can hear her yelling and laughing to herself but I love it. She’s just experimenting with her voice and making sounds. I’m not looking forward to tantrums but so far, she always makes up for the bad stuff by being the sweet girl she is. Or, she does something incredible goofy and cracks me up. 

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Oh and I’m pretty much used to the fact that I’m going to have banana or some sticky substance stuck to my clothing for the next few years. If her hands are dirty and sticky, it usually means she’s just had a lot of fun and that’s pretty okay with me. 

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Happy Birthday to my baby bear, who has brought so much joy into my life. 

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